I Have Never Refused God Anything – Musings on Purpose

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it” ― Siddhārtha Gautama

auroraworld2Do I Have a Purpose?

Do you ever feel a sense that there is something more to your life? You don’t know what it is, but you are haunted by the feeling that you have a purpose?  And that purpose is somehow greater than what you are doing now?  Even if you are successful in your life, have a great job, terrific family, friends and colleagues who love and admire you, you still feel like something is missing?

All of my life, I have had the feeling that I was meant to do something else, something more useful and meaningful.  Even when I had a great job and a great career, performing a function that seemed helpful and loving, I still felt like something was missing.

As I began to examine my life, I recognized that no matter how much I tried, I never had enough!

Not enough power, not enough money, not enough approval, not enough fun, not enough joy… as hard as I worked, I could never find the success I wanted.  As I looked at my dissatisfaction, I began to notice a pattern.  It seemed like every time I got close to reaching a goal, I saw that goal as being small, unworthy, never big enough.  I knew that I would not be satisfied when the goal was accomplished, and I would set another goal.  The new goal would be challenging, difficult, and it would take a lot of work to accomplish.

Have you had that experience?  Think about it, has any job ever paid you enough?  Do you come home from work every day thinking, “WOW!  What a great day, what a great job!  I accomplished everything I wanted to do, everybody loves me!  I can hardly wait to go back tomorrow and do it all again!”?  I am guessing this is not your usual experience.  I know it is not mine.

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” – ― Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

Would you be surprised to learn that it is not the purpose of this world to make you happy?  In fact, the world is a place to see that what I really want is not here.  The world is an ILLUSION –  made to remind me that I am something more than the body, the personality and the brain that I think I am.  I am an infinite and eternal being, created by a Source that is infinite and eternal.  How can an infinite and eternal being be confined to a body, a personality and a brain?  Those things are temporary, small and finite.  When the body dies, I will go on without it.  But if that is true, why do I feel so small, limited and dissatisfied?  Why am I fooled by this illusion, to the extent that I have lost all remembrance of what I am?

“Each man had only one genuine vocation – to find the way to himself….His task was to discover his own destiny – not an arbitrary one – and to live it out wholly and resolutely within himself. Everything else was only a would-be existence, an attempt at evasion, a flight back to the ideals of the masses, conformity and fear of one’s own inwardness.” – ― Hermann Hesse

Without knowing my true purpose, everything I do seems like a futile effort.  I am never satisfied, because I always think there is something more, something else I should be doing.  No matter how successful I become, there is still the nagging feeling that I am not doing enough, and so I move from goal to goal, never finding what I seek.  I am lost in a world of illusion, and I want to give my whole heart and soul to finding my purpose.

Why am I seeking to break free?  Is it because I believe that the world I see is not what I want?  Is it because I do not like what is happening and I want to make something else to happen?  Looking at my thoughts about this, I see that it is true.  The world I see is not making me happy, and I wonder – is it my purpose to be happy?  Do I really have a purpose?

As I write these words I become increasingly restless, nervous and upset.  Why?  Because deep inside I believe that I am not worthy of having a higher purpose.  I believe there is something I need to do to prove my worth.  Is that my purpose?

In A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 25, it says “Purpose is meaning. 2 Today’s idea explains why nothing you see means anything. 3 You do not know what it is for. 4 Therefore, it is meaningless to you. 5 Everything is for your own best interests. 6 That is what it is for; that is its purpose; that is what it means. 7 It is in recognizing this that your goals become unified. 8 It is in recognizing this that what you see is given meaning.

W-pI.25.2. You perceive the world and everything in it as meaningful in terms of ego goals. 2 These goals have nothing to do with your own best interests, because the ego is not you. 3 This false identification makes you incapable of understanding what anything is for. 4 As a result, you are bound to misuse it. 5 When you believe this, you will try to withdraw the goals you have assigned to the world, instead of attempting to reinforce them.”

So I have given myself the only purpose I know, it is a small and unworthy purpose, because it is the ego’s purpose.  I do have a Real Purpose though, and that is the one given to me by God.  And it is by allowing the ego’s purpose to be replaced by God’s purpose that I retrieve my natural inheritance.  No amount of wishing, manifesting or hoping can do this for me.

 “T-23.IV.8. Think what is given those who share their Father’s purpose, and who know that it is theirs. 2 They want for nothing. 3 Sorrow of any kind is inconceivable. 4 Only the light they love is in awareness, and only love shines upon them forever. 5 It is their past, their present and their future; always the same, eternally complete and wholly shared. 6 They know it is impossible their happiness could ever suffer change of any kind. 7 Perhaps you think the battleground can offer something you can win. 8 Can it be anything that offers you a perfect calmness, and a sense of love so deep and quiet that no touch of doubt can ever mar your certainty? 9 And that will last forever?”

“T-23.IV.9. … 4 No one who knows that he has everything could seek for limitation, nor could he value the body’s offerings.”  A Course in Miracles

When I remember my purpose, I will have nothing else to look for.

“If I could give you information of my life it would be to show how a woman of very ordinary ability has been led by God in strange and unaccustomed paths to do in His service what He has done in her. And if I could tell you all, you would see how God has done all, and I nothing. I have worked hard, very hard, that is all; and I have never refused God anything.” ― Florence Nightingale

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Calling All Angels

God, I am confused and angry. I am shaking my fist at you. I feel scarlettabandoned and afraid.

Oh my gosh, Lyn ….. What has happened that has made you so afraid?

Oh, nothing special or different than anything that happens every day.  The same thing that happens when I remember that I have no job, no money, no car, nothing I can sell or pawn, no visible source of income.  You know, Wednesday happened ……

I am beating myself up because it seems like every day there is a crisis.  I buy into the fear.  I forget that God is here.  Then something good happens.  Maybe I miscalculated my taxes and they owe me and I get a check in the mail.  Maybe I find a $10 bill fluttering in the wind.  Then I say, “Thank You God!!  You are so good.”  Until tomorrow when the electric bill comes in and I don’t have the money.

How I long for the moment that I KNOW God is here, I KNOW that I am not alone.  Until then I feel like I am on a raft in a storm.  Buffeted by the waves, I hang on for dear life, but when the storm is over and the sun is bright, I feel safe and happy.  Until I need water, or food, or I get too hot, or sun burned……  never satisfied for more than a moment, I am in a constant state of unrest.

This is the ego state.  A Course in Miracles says:

T-4.I.9. God is not the author of fear. 2 You are. 3 You have chosen to create unlike Him, and have therefore made fear for yourself. 4 You are not at peace because you are not fulfilling your function. 5 God gave you a very lofty function that you are not meeting. 6 Your ego has chosen to be afraid instead of meeting it.

So if all I need to do is to fulfill my function to be at peace, then what is my ‘function’?

T-4.I.13. 7 I need devoted teachers who share my aim of healing the mind. 8 Spirit is far beyond the need of your protection or mine. 9 Remember this:

10 In this world you need not have tribulation because I have overcome the world.
11 That is why you should be of good cheer
.

Alright God, I believe you.  I am a devoted teacher.  I do want to heal my mind.  I want to help you.   But if I forget, I will look to you for a sign.  Thank you for loving me….. sincerely,   Lyn

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What is Healing?

Healing can be defined simply as forgiveness, for no healing can be anything else.  The unforgiving are sick, because they believe they are unforgiven.  Only forgiveness heals an unforgiveness, and only an unforgiveness can possibly give rise to sickness of any kind.  Healing occurs when we begin to question the validity of our sickness. Questioning, then, is the first step in true healing.

Bob2No one is healed alone. This realization is the final goal of all healing. The teacher sees in his student everything that he has not forgiven in himself, and is given another chance to look at it, open it to re-evaluation and forgive it.   His brother is a screen for the projection of his sins, enabling him to let them go.

From the Psychotherapy Pamphlet from A Course in Miracles:

P-2.VII.1.         Who, then, is the therapist, and who is the patient? 2 In the end, everyone is both. 3 He who needs healing must heal. 4 Physician, heal thyself. 5 Who else is there to heal? 6 And who else is in need of healing? 7 Each patient who comes to a therapist offers him a chance to heal himself. 8 He is therefore his therapist. 9 And every therapist must learn to heal from each patient who comes to him. 10 He thus becomes his patient. 11 God does not know of separation. 12 What He knows is only that He has one Son. 13 His knowledge is reflected in the ideal patient-therapist relationship. 14 God comes to him who calls, and in Him he recognizes Himself

There is no difference between healing and forgiveness.  Overcoming guilt is the true aim of therapy and the obvious aim of forgiveness.   The process that actually takes place in this relationship is actually one in which the teacher realizes that his thoughts about himself and his student are projections of ego, and that in truth, both of their perceived “sins” have been forgiven.   Seeing only sinlessness, Christ’s vision heals perception and sickness disappears completely and forever, once its cause has been removed.  This occurs when the teacher and student join in a holy relationship in which all sense of separation finally is overcome.

Everyone who is sent to you is your student, your partner in salvation, and your teacher.  This does not mean that you select him, or that you choose what you teach and learn.  But it does mean that no one comes to you by mistake.  It is not up to you to decide what to teach, the Holy Spirit knows what each brother needs and He will tell you what to offer everyone who comes.

These brothers do not need to be physically present for you to help them, because in our Oneness we are connected in a very intimate way.  It is essential to see that God’s gifts cannot be limited to the few brothers you actually see.  Many will not need your physical presence.  The old saying that “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” is true.  It is also true that when the teacher is ready, the students appear.  When you need them and they need you, you will find each other.  You will recognize them in whatever way can be most helpful to both of you.  They will be sent in whatever form is most helpful; a name, a thought, a picture, an idea, or perhaps just a feeling of reaching out to someone somewhere. It does not matter how they come. The joining is in the hands of the Holy Spirit and it cannot fail to be accomplished.

Because the Holy Relationship exists in the Holy Instant, you forget to judge your brother, and that is when healing occurs. Even if this point is never reached, healing is still inevitable, and every step toward true joining is a benefit to both.  When judgment ceases, healing occurs, because only then it can be understood that there is no order of difficulty in healing.  When we learn that it is no harder to wake a brother from one dream than from another, we are free to seek and hold many healing relationships with our brothers.  Those who accomplish this are “the Saints of God, and the Saviors of the world.”

P-3.III.8.          Physician, healer, therapist, teacher, heal thyself. 2 Many will come to you carrying the gift of healing, if you so elect. 3 The Holy Spirit never refuses an invitation to enter and abide with you. 4 He will give you endless opportunities to open the door to your salvation, for such is His function. 5 He will also tell you exactly what your function is in every circumstance and at all times. 6 Whoever He sends you will reach you, holding out his hand to his Friend. 7 Let the Christ in you bid him welcome, for that same Christ is in him as well. 8 Deny him entrance, and you have denied the Christ in you. 9 Remember the sorrowful story of the world, and the glad tidings of salvation. 10 Remember the plan of God for the restoration of joy and peace. 11 And do not forget how very simple are the ways of God:

12 You were lost in the darkness of the world until you asked for light.

13 And then God sent His Son to give it to you.

photo courtesy of Nostalgia West

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